Thief vs Treasure Hunter: The Final Countdown!
by Lassarina Aoibhell
Summary: It's an epic race to see who can reach the Crystal Trophy first!


Ladies and gentlemen! I just can't tell you how excited I am to be here tonight, kupo! That's right, this is Kumop, live from the Gaia Arena! Tonight we have a ivery special/i event! I'm sure you've all heard the rumours, and I'm here to tell you, they're true! Yes, indeed, ladies and gentlemen, today is the very special day when two master thieves will compete! Uh, sorry, sorry, I forgot, kupo, Mr. Cole prefers to be referred to as a treasure hunter. The seats in the arena are already almost full of people here to watch the show! This is the only time in your lives you'll be able to see Zidane Tribal, hero of Tantalus, compete against Locke Cole, the man who found the Phoenix Magicite!

As I said, the stands are already almost full of people. We have quite a few luminaries cheering for each side! Cheering on the challenger, Locke Cole, we have his lovely bride, the former General Celes Chere! We've also been graced with not one, but TWO kings—King Edgar of Figaro and King Cyan of Doma—and a crown prince, that being Prince Sabin of Figaro. And to cheer on our homeland hero, Zidane, we have his beautiful fiancée, Queen Garnet of Alexandria, as well as the Lady Freya Crescent, commander of Burmecia's dragoons! Kupo! What's that? Why, I do believe I see Regent Cid of Lindblum! This really is a star-studded crowd here tonight, ladies and gentlemen!

I'm flying over the arena right now, kupo, and I don't think I've ever seen an obstacle course this crazy! We have the usual run-of-the-mill obstacles, of course—I see there a spike trap, probably designed by the famous Lindblum dungeon-master Ruile, and that corridor of spinning blades looks just like the one that the Burmecian Dragoon Richard made for the Lindblum Theatre District last year, except I'm assuming these blades are actually sharpened and not dull wood like they were on stage! The Black Mage Village has contributed an absolutely fantastic fire pit—my fur is shriveling just ithinking/i about flying over it! I can't imagine having to do it without wings, kupo!

It looks like Alexandria's own General Beatrix contributed the spiked wall that they'll have to climb. My sources tell me the wall has been coated with a unique blend of spices that will practically burn their skin as soon as they touch it! Can you imagine! I sure couldn't do this, kupo. Not to be outdone, General Chere has created a nicely iundulating/i ribbon of ice, with four hills and three valleys, to be navigated! I hope they brought their ice skates!

Oh! I've just been informed that the committee thought such an obstacle course might not be challenging enough for these very accomplished gentlemen, so they're turning loose several monsters on the course! The list sends ichills down my spine,/i folks! They actually captured two tonberries for this! I'm told there will also be tyranosaurs and behemoths, kupo! I sure am glad I get to fly above the action instead of being a part of it!

Okay! Our contestants are coming out and getting ready! It looks like they were both warned about the monsters ahead of time—I see that Locke is carrying a shield and his dagger, while Zidane has brought his weapons as well! Are you ready, kupo? It's about to start! For those of you who are just tuning in, Locke Cole and Zidane Tribal are facing off in an epic battle to see which one is, ultimately, the superior treasure hunter! The goal is to make it through this obstacle course, consisting of a variety of hazards and also plagued with monsters, and see who can get to the Crystal Trophy first!

A strange silence has fallen over the arena as the contestants line up...the official has the flag raised....

And they're off! Locke takes an early lead, heading straight for the fire pit! Those flames are iten feet high,/i kupo! But he clears them with a leap that almost makes me think he's got moogle wings hidden under that vest! Oh, no, it looks like Zidane singed his tail a little—he had to slow down and beat the sparks off it! I bet that hurt, kupo!

They've both cleared the spike trap with no worries—not that I expected anything less from such skilled thieves. I mean treasure hunters, kupo! That's definitely what I said! Anyway, they're past the spike trap now and starting on the ice road—and Locke has run into a tyranosaur! Wait, there's one coming for Zidane, too! Zidane dispatches his with admirable speed, and makes it over the next hill—oh, yes, and Locke handles his opponent with ifinesse!/i

That ice road looks very slippery, ladies and gentlemen! Oh, that can't have felt good—Locke slipped and cracked his pom-pom on the ice! Zidane's made up the time he lost at the fire pit and he's nearly to the blade corridor!

It looks like that fall really did ring Locke's bell—he's not moving as fast as he heads into the blade corridor. That's not good, ladies and gentlemen! Oh, kupo, that was a close one! But he gets out of the way just in time, without so much as a snagged thread to show for it! Our two contestants are neck-and-neck as they navigate this iincredibly treacherous/i hazard!

Oh my goodness! A tonberry just dropped down onto Zidane from above! And—how on earth did a behemoth fit in there to attack Locke? I just can't take this tension, kupo! I've pulled almost all the fur off my pom-pom! Oh, ouch, that had to hurt! The tonberry just doinked Zidane! It's okay, though, he brought a good supply of potions! Locke has taken care of his behemoth opponent with a well-timed dodge that left the behemoth pinned between two blades, and he's sprinting for the finish! But first he has to get up General Beatrix's spiked wall of fire, kupo!

Zidane finished off his tonberry, and now he's at the bottom of the spiked wall! I think his gloves might give him an advantage here, ladies and gentlemen! But what's this? Locke's scrambling right up that wall! Doesn't he feel the General's famous mixture? Kupo! Kupo, it almost looks like there's ismoke/i coming off his hands, he's climbing so fast! Or maybe that's the mixture! But Zidane's keeping pace with him! They reach the top of the wall at exactly the same time—

What?

Our judges say it's ended in a tie!

After all of that, kupo, a tie? What a disappointment! But then again, that was quite a show!

Well, maybe that means we'll get to see a rematch next year. In the meantime, I'm going to go see if I can get an interview with this year's contestants, so don't touch that dial! This is Kumop, reminding you to keep your pom-poms polished and your wings nice and strong!


End file.
